Illegal Foreign Object

Some of the lowest hanging fruit out there is the celebrity of ‘x’ genre deciding to use said fame to spin off into another area of entertainment. Much mockery usually ensues, but that’s largely born out of masses of mediocre people watching another mediocre person do big things with little more than hustle and a complete lack of self-awareness. Blinders blind (but they also force an unrelenting focus).

Johnny Depp often gets lumped into the pile of celebrities unwilling to “stay in their lane”. Especially during that wholly oddball court case with ex-wife Amber Heard, plenty of folks fell out of the trees to goof on him for “playing rockstar”. The thing is, it’s an incredibly misguided stance to take because Johnny Depp never had any interest in being an actor in the first place. When the dude dropped out of school way back in 1980, he didn’t do so for a prime role in a Scorsese flick. The guy bailed on 5th period English class because his band, The Kids, were headed to Los Angeles to “make it”. The Kids never hit it big but IT DID open for Talking Heads, Iggy Pop, the Pretenders, and the Ramones. From where I come from, that’s “making it”.

After The Kids split, Depp found his way into a band called Rock City Angels, a musical endeavor he attacked full-on (even as roles in Platoon and A Nightmare On Elm Street fell into his lap). The acting thing was a goof — a thing he did at the suggestion of Nicolas Cage. Music was (and is, I’d wager) his true love. Rock City Angels was a sleazy, hard rock band in the same vein as Faster Pussycat and L.A. Guns. It too failed to “pop”, and Depp carried on with the acting thing. Hey, man, the bills gotta get paid, ya know?

The thing is, his love for climbing up on a stage with his buddies and jamming has never died. Hell, the main reason he even opened the Viper Room back in 1993 was to give him and his friends a place to hang and play tunes without feeling like everyone’s eyes were on him. At one time or another, Tom Petty, Flea, John Frusciante, Steve Jones, Iggy Pop, and Keith Richards all plugged in and made a helluva noise with Johnny on the Viper Room stage. It was his musical sanctuary (even if the place was fraught with bad tabloid press and even worse actualities).

Born from the ashes of a post-What’s Eating Gilbert Grape all-nighter between Johnny Depp, drummer/actor/club co-owner Sal Jenco, Butthole Surfers frontman Gibby Haynes, and singer/songwriter Bill Carter, the band P was an acid-drenched amalgamation of power chords and the Viper Room’s “anything goes” spirit. The result is a single self-titled album that was released in late-’95.

Part alt. rock blues revival, part avant-garde hillbilly hoedown, P is weird, wonderful, and keeps its tongue pressed firmly against the inside of its cheek throughout the 11-song, 57+ minute rollick.

Both the band and the album were mostly written off as a Johnny Depp ego-stroke, but there’s meat on this bone, y’all. The record is a swirl of jangly guitars, psychedelic meanderings, barroom brawls, and wild-ass harmonica solos that would make Charlie Parker crane his neck inquisitively. It’s also Lou Reed-like warbles (“I Save Cigarette Butts”), Green Bullet preacher proselytization (“White Man Sings The Blues”), Transformers fucking (“Zing Splash”), and overstuffed middle fingers in the left eye of homophobic, xenophobic, racist cops (“Mr. Officer”). It’s a wild-ass ride.

If any of this sounds the least bit enticing to you, you should give it a listen. Considering the breakneck twists and turns throughout the record, it’s a surprisingly easy listen.

Track List:

1. I Save Cigarette Butts (Daniel Johnston cover) 8/10
2. Zing Splash 6/10
3. Michael Stipe 8/10
4. Oklahoma 8/10
5. Dancing Queen (ABBA cover) 6/10
6. Jon Glenn – Mega Mix 5/10
7. Mr. Officer 10/10
8. White Man Sings The Blues 7/10
9. Die Anne 6/10
10. Scrapings From Ring 5/10
11. The Deal 7/10

Grade: 69