Illegal Foreign Object

This year marks the 35th anniversary of the DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince smash double album 𝗛𝗲’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗝, 𝗜’𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗿. I turned eleven that year, and I had fallen in love with hip hop a few years prior thanks to Whodini’s “Freaks Come Out At Night” and the movie Breakin’. The last birthday party I ever had was in ’88. It was a “rap party”. I remember my mom was sick, so instead of a bunch of kids at McDonald’s or Pizza Hut or whatever, I invited over three buddies to hang out. We played rap songs and did all the breakdancing moves we knew on the linoleum floor. You haven’t seen cringe until you see four East Texas white boys fail miserably at doing The Worm. The ’80s were a gloriously embarrassing time, y’all. Somewhere in the world, there are pictures of this horrifying event. Regardless, DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince took up plenty of tape deck space that night.

I adored 𝗛𝗲’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗝, 𝗜’𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗿. “A Nightmare of My Street” was hilarious. It made us all laugh and rap along to lines like:

🎶He comes to me after I crawl into bed
He’s burnt up like a weenie and his name is Fred🎶

C’mon, man, this was positively Shakespearean to an 11-year-old! When Freddy Krueger gets to Jeff at the end of the song and tells Will, “I’m your DJ now, Princey”, man, that’s just good storytelling for a kid.

𝗛𝗲’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗝… has some serious gems on it. “Time to Chill” flows, the title track and “Hip Hop Dancer’s Theme” show off DJ Jazzy Jeff’s amazing abilities, and “Brand New Funk” might be the best song the duo ever recorded, but it was the massive “Parents Just Don’t Understand” that took the music world by storm (and I say this with all due respect to the duo’s 1987 hit “Girls Ain’t Nothing But Trouble”). Gentle reader, “Parents Just Don’t Understand” was EVERYWHERE — a legitimate crossover classic that won the 1st ever Grammy Award for Best Rap Performance. The song made it to no. 12 on the Billboard charts, propelling the 1st double album in rap history to 3x platinum status. Ironically enough, one of the samples used in the track was from the song “Won’t You Be My Friend” by Peter Frampton, another artist whose biggest moment in music was 𝒉𝒊𝒔 double album 𝗙𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗼𝗻 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗔𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲.

𝗛𝗲’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗝, 𝗜’𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗿 is nothing but nice memories for me. Memories of going to the field down the hill from my house with my boombox, a ball, and my glove to throw myself pop flies (because it felt more legitimate on a baseball diamond). Memories of dancing in my room by myself (because I am one terrible dancer). Memories of riding my bike all over town, unencumbered, unsupervised, and at least where my mom was concerned, probably unbearable. Jumping curbs, popping wheelies, then stopping by the grocery store to 5-finger discount some batteries for my Walkman. Hey, I couldn’t ride my bike all the way home in silence!

Track List:

1. A Nightmare On My Street 9/10
2. Here We Go Again 6/10
3. Brand New Funk 10/10
4. Time To Chill 7/10
5. Charlie Mack (The First Out The Limo) 7/10
6. As We Go 7/10
7. Parents Just Don’t Understand 9/10
8. Pump Up The Bass 6/10
9. Let’s Get Busy Baby 6/10
10. Live At Union Square, November 1988 – Live 7/10
11. DJ On Wheels 8/10
12. My Buddy 5/10
13. Rhythm Trax (House Party Style) 8/10
14. He’s The DJ, I’m The Rapper 6/10
15. Hip Hop Dancer’s Theme 8/10
16. Jazzy’s In The House 8/10
17. Human Video Game 5/10

Grade: 72