Illegal Foreign Object

Long before the jackasses of Jackass helped introduce the jangly genius of “Corona” into the pop culture bouillabaisse, the mighty Minutemen were considered punk rock royalty by those in the know.

Fronted by D. Boon, a rock ‘n’ roll ’round mound of get down’, Minutemen was a lighthouse nestled amongst the jagged coastline and hidden shoals that was the California punk scene. The members of Minutemen took their message every bit as seriously as the often humorless likes of Black Flag, Fear, and Flipper but to me, at least, the thing that separated them from the other bands of that era was the ability to educate without it ever coming off as whiny or hateful.

Both Boon and bassist Mike Watt were big history buffs — that showed up in the songs, Cliff Notes-style. D. Boon’s lyrics cracked doors open for the listener; it was our job to kick the sumbitch wide open and step through.

🎶I believe when they found the body of General George A. Custer quilled like a porcupine w/ Indian arrows
He didn’t die with any honor, any dignity, nor any valor
I wouldn’t doubt when they found George A. Custer
An American general patriot and Indian fighter
He died w/ shit in his pants🎶

Teamed with human whirlwind George Hurley on drums, Minutemen laid down a brand of punk rock that often resembled a jazz band being thrown down a flight of stairs. It was frantic and heavy; the space between the notes was just as important as the notes themselves.

I fell in love w/ the band via fIREHOSE, Mike Watt’s post-Minutemen endeavor, 3 1/2 years after Boon’s tragic passing. Hanging around a half pipe at a dude’s house in East Texas, mixtapes were volleyed about, boombox to boombox. Faith No More to Minor Threat to Slayer to Circle Jerks to Fishbone to Negative Approach — on and on it went. At some point “Brave Captain” exploded from the speakers. “Wait, what the fuck is this”, I yelped while scrambling for the mixtape tracklist. An older, nameless skater nearby clued me in, telling me that if I dug it I needed to check out Minutemen. My friend Tim and I did just that, pooling some money to place an order from SST Records. When it arrived, I rode my bike to Tim’s house to open the package. Digging through all the stuff (SST was always cool about sending extra tapes and stickers along with whatever you ordered), he pulled 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗶𝗱 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 from the pile, unwrapped it, and hit “play”. The entire cassette was 7 songs, 6 minutes and 40 seconds long.

🎶I try to work and I keep thinkin’ of World War III
I try to talk to girls and I keep thinkin’ of World War III
The goddamned 6 o’clock news makes sure I keep thinkin’ of World War III
I keep thinking of Russia
Of Russia
Paranoid, stuck on overdrive
Paranoid, scared shitless🎶

The more things change…

We were hooked. This wasn’t anything like all the hair metal cock rock we were listening to at the time (though I still love all that stuff too). This felt important. There was a raw, primal urgency to the music that was nonexistent in the bands being marketed to us by MTV. Real working class tuneage from working class cats making a helluva loud noise — not any of that “fake Springsteen shit”. Shortly thereafter, we saw a live VHS of the band — holy shit. D. Boon moved like a dancing bear having a seizure; he was as captivating a punk rock frontman as has ever existed.

“Punk rock changed our lives.” Paranoid Time changed our lives.

Track List:

1. Validation 9/10
2. The Maze 7/10
3. Definitions 6/10
4. Sickles And Hammers 7/10
5. Fascist 9/10
6. Joe McCarthy’s Ghost 8/10
7. Paranoid Chant 10/10

Grade: 80