Illegal Foreign Object

By the summer of 1989, Tone Lōc, De La Soul, LL Cool J, and Heavy D & The Boyz had all released killer albums. 2 Live Crew was infuriating middle-aged squares across the good ol’ U.S.A.. Hip-Hop was exploding. I was a music-obsessed 13 years old kid, buying, borrowing, or stealing anything I could get my hands on. So insatiable was my thirst for music that I even checked out my mom’s Anne Murray tape just to be sure there wasn’t anything on there I needed to hear (there wasn’t). It was the summertime, we were on break from school, and finally of an age when we had a friend or two with access to a car. Many malls, skate parks, baseball fields, and backyards were visited.

Around that same time, Boogie Down Productions unleashed 𝗚𝗵𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗼 𝗠𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗰: 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗛𝗶𝗽 𝗛𝗼𝗽. unto the masses. I didn’t have enough money to pick it up, but I did have a ride to the record store from this older kid named FUMP. FUMP worked at Pizza Hut, which netted me a free slice more than once. He didn’t understand my love for rap and refused to have it played in his car. Between you and me, FUMP was racist as shit — East Texas has turned a lot of otherwise decent people into trash. I often wonder how I would’ve turned out had I not escaped.

I five-fingered 𝗚𝗵𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗼 𝗠𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗰 that day. FUMP grabbed 𝗘𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲 𝗔𝗴𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻, an album that had been released a few weeks prior by the German thrash metal band, Kreator. FUMP bailed first, cranking up his car. I followed about 10 seconds behind, hopping in the car at roughly the same moment as he decided to punch it. I still remember the black and white tile on the floor as I made my way out of the store.

With the adrenaline rush of the getaway fueling us, I unwrapped his Kreator tape and popped it into the tape deck. As the title track reduced us to a couple of headbanging, flesh & bone Beavis & Butt-Heads, FUMP careened down US-67, putting his dad’s maroon Chrysler LeBaron (and his ability to keep it on the road while essentially stage-diving behind the wheel) to the ultimate test.

When FUMP dropped me at my house, I ran inside, grabbed my Walkman, and sped off on my bike, the ฿ØØ₥ ฿₳₱ filling my ears as I peddled with purpose to nowhere in particular. Class was in session courtesy of the Teacha himself, the mighty KRS-One. Beat after beat, line after line, track after track, he pried my mind open wide, shoveling into my skull as much information as it would hold — information that he needed me to have. When KRS-One broke down biblical genealogy in “Why Is That?“, as an East Texas kid who was force-fed lies in a State that still proudly claims to be the gaudy, oversized buckle of the Bible Belt, man, those lines hit me square between the eyes. Listening to it while writing this, it’s lighting me up all over again.

There are classic albums from all eras. In 1989, there were at least a dozen classic hip-hop classics released but 𝗚𝗵𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗼 𝗠𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗰: 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗛𝗶𝗽 𝗛𝗼𝗽 is a must-listen record. It’s simply too important to ignore.

Track List:

1. The Style You Haven’t Done Yet 8/10
2. Why Is That? 10/10
3. The Blueprint 10/10
4. Jack Of Spades 10/10
5. Jah Rulez 9/10
6. Breath Control 9/10
7. Who Protects Us From You? 10/10
8. You Must Learn 9/10
9. Hip Hop Rules 8/10
10. Bo! Bo! Bo! 9/10
11. Gimme Dat (Woy) 9/10
12. Ghetto Music 9/10
13. World Peace 8/10

Grade: 91