Illegal Foreign Object

On May 9th, 1981, the seas roiled and churned, the Earth quaked, and the Heavens were a panorama of turmoil and tumult. A crack in the sky formed over the West Coast of the United States, and a flash of lightning broke through, striking down in the town of Downey, California. From the smoldering wreckage stepped two teenage kids named Lars and James.

Metallica was born. Well, kinda.

Truth be told, the mythology is far more exciting than the reality. James Hetfield and bassist Ron McGovney, fresh off the break-up of their band Leather Charm, were digging through the pages of The Recycler (a Bible for band formation) when they stumbled onto an ad that read, “Drummer looking for other metal musicians to jam with. Tygers of Pan Tang, Diamond Head and Iron Maiden”.

Fellow former Leather Charm guitarist Hugh Tanner hit Lars up, arranged a jam at a rehearsal studio, and it was love at first sight, no?

No, not at all.

The Leather Charm dudes didn’t vibe with the son of a Danish pro tennis player. To them, he was “weird” and “smelled funny”. When they ate McDonald’s, Lars ate herring. Never mind the fact that, to that point, Ulrich wasn’t much of a drummer. Lars has since said that his kit was in such a state of disrepair that every time he hit his cymbals, they fell off into the floor.

The jam session went nowhere besides dudes going in separate directions. Lars went off to Europe to spend the summer following Diamond Head (his favorite band). James went off to, well, who knows, really, but it probably involved a lot of leaning against brick walls and looking menacing. When Lars returned to California, it took the allure of a pile of NWOBHM (New Wave of British Heavy Metal) records procured overseas to entice James into another hang with the drummer.

It was through Lars’s killer record collection that a bond was formed. Two loners, albeit from completely different sides of the tracks, had found each other, and as the Angel Witch filled the room, the seeds of what would become the biggest rock ‘n’ roll band of all time were planted.

Five months later, the band officially had a name after Lars convinced Bay Area DJ Ron Quintana (who, at the time, was debating on whether to call his new radio show “Metallica” or “Metal Mania”) to steer away from the former.

Twists and turns, highs and lows, death and dissension, rehab and renewal, and total and absolute world domination would follow. Many bands have come for the crown over the years — all have been weighed, measured, and found wanting.

Metallica is forever.