Illegal Foreign Object

When I was a kid, pop and R&B were the first music genres that lit up my heart, but hard rock was the first genre to turn me into a music junkie. Bands like Whitesnake, Van Halen, and Mötley Crüe grabbed ahold of me and wouldn’t let go. A few of the bands on this list were debuting back then, which undoubtedly colors how I feel about their current recordings. Still, these lists are “my 2023 in music”, so, I figure I’m giving you exactly what you signed up for, no?

Through roughly 7,324 lineup changes, L.A. Guns has persisted, laying claim to Hollywood Boulevard’s version of Keith Richards…or a cockroach. With Black Diamonds, Tracii Guns & Co. continues the 8-year trend of churning out some of the best music of the band’s 35-year run.

Required listening: “Diamonds”, “Shattered Glass”, “Babylon”

A full review is found here. Dig it.

Required listening: “Banshee”, “#Rebel”, “Rise”

Supergroups can be pretty hit-or-miss, but the Winery Dogs have never been anything but on-point. With III, Richie Kotzen, Billy Sheehan, and Mike Portnoy at another batch of killer blues rock tunes to an ever-growing pile of greatness.

Required listening: “Xanadu”, “Stars”

I never cared much for the “Led Zeppelin ripoff” accusations, and with Starcatcher, it’s apparent that Greta Van Fleet was equally fed up. Starcatcher has a huge sound (while retaining its beauty), and Josh Kiszka’s vocals are of another world.

Required listening: “Meeting The Master”, “The Archer”, “Sacred The Thread”

Wolfgang Van Halen could have made an entire career out of being “Eddie’s kid.” Instead, he forged his path while making music representative of many of his influences (not just his dad). Mammoth II is a fantastic follow-up, full of big riffs, alt-rock vocals, and, yes, a few solos that would have surely brought a smile to EVH’s face.

Required listening: “Another Celebration At The End Of The World”, “Take A Bow”

Yes, Steel Panther is a parody band. Yes, humor is the main focus of their bit, but if the members didn’t have the chops to also write and perform catchy, hooky songs, there’d be nothing to return to after a single listen (I still throw on “Community Property” a dozen times a year). On The Prowl is fun, and it’s made only that much more enjoyable with the knowledge that it annoys Nikki Sixx.

Required listening: “1987”, “Never To Late (To Get Some Pussy Tonight)”, “Friends With Benefits”

Norwegian glam metal band Wig Wam might not be the most well-known band on this list, but I’d put their chops up against anyone else in the genre. Wig Wam just knows how to write a damn hard rock song, and has been doing so for almost two decades.

Required listening: “Out Of The Dark”, “High N Dry”, “Ghosting You”

Whether or not GATC’s brand of old-school MOR is your cup of tea, singer Girish Pradhan’s vocals are undeniable. Back On Earth, a re-record of the band’s 2014 debut album, is a batch of tunes that not only deliver on the horn-raising but show off Pradhan’s unmatched pipes. This is arguably the best vocal performance I’ve heard from a singer in the hard rock/glam rock genre since Johnny Gioeli on Hardline’s 1992 Double Eclipse headbanger.

Required listening: “Loaded”, “Angel”, “Born With A Big Attitude”

The members of the Struts lean hard into their love of all things seventies rock ‘n’ roll while never descending into parody. I’m not mad at ’em — Pretty Vicious is a fun, straight ahead rocker that successfully gives the listener an idea of how the Faces might’ve sounded in 2023.

Required listening: “Too Good At Raising Hell”, “Rockstar”

I don’t know of a current band that has a better understanding of what it means to represent yourself as a rock star than Måneskin. Campy, bombastic, snotty — Måneskin just gets it. RUSH! (ARE YOU COMING?) is a

Required listening: “HONEY! (ARE YOU COMING?)”, “BABY SAID”, “SUPERMODEL”, “OFF MY FACE”

Ghost’s theatrical campiness is a joy, but theatrics without musicianship don’t usually result in a long run. You gotta have the songs, and Ghost (more times than not) has the songs. The Phantomime covers EP is a fun nod to some of the songs and bands that made Papa Emeritus fall in love with music when he was a kid.

Required listening: “Phantom Of The Opera”, “We Don’t Need Another Hero”

I loved Winger long before Beavis & Butt-head tried (and failed) to convince me I shouldn’t. Kip Winger has one of the best voices I’ve ever heard, Reb Beach is a guitar god, and Rod Morgenstein is one of the most talented (and underrated) drummers in hard rock history. For me, Seven is a little uneven, but I’m nonetheless thrilled for its release (and to have added a few new songs to my Winger playlist).

Required listening: “Broken Glass”, “It All Comes Back Around”

With Can’t Find The Brakes, Dirty Honey successfully avoids the dreaded “2nd album curse”. No, there’s nothing particularly original here, but the band’s mix of Bon Scott-era AC/DC meets seventies-style Aerosmith still sounds surprisingly fresh.

Required listening: “Don’t Put Out The Fire”, “Won’t Take Me Alive”, “Coming Home (Ballad Of The Shire)”

Heaven Comes Down is the first Dokken album with all-new material since 2012’s Broken Bones and it’s a mixed bag. Look, Don Dokken is 70 years old — expecting him to belt it out like he did back in ’85 is unrealistic — the gods simply didn’t make very many Steven Tylers. Don’s singing slower (and lower) than back in the day, but that’s just fine with me. I’ll take a guy working with what he has over Vince Neil using every last studio trick in existence to cobble together a sound half-assed resembling what he once was. Guitarist Jon Levin carries Heaven Comes Down, his solos a regular highlight throughout the album.

Required listening: Is It Me Or You?”, “Saving Grace”

That’s it for this week. Check back on Monday for whispers that are louder than bombs.