Illegal Foreign Object

I use the descriptor “sad bastard music” a lot. High Fidelity fans will recall Jack Black’s use of it in reference to Belle & Sebastian, and it struck me as a perfectly succinct way to describe that band. Oh, and I say that as a fan of Belle & Sebastian. Somewhere in the cosmos, there’s a weirdo, loungy-type cover that I demoed of the band’s song “The Psychiatrist Is In”.

My Mrs. loves “sad bastard music” — it’s at least 50% of what she listens to during her average workday. So, what constitutes a “sad bastard”? I mean, it’s all pretty easy to categorize when you start listening. It’s not that all of an artist’s music is depressing, just a perpetual melancholy that hangs over the tunes, the musician, or both. Like, the Cure, for example. Sad bastards, one and all. Damon Albarn? Yes, a sad bastard, indeed — he has two albums on this list! Morrissey? The saddest bastard of ’em all.

Anyway, the following sad bastards put a smile on my face in 2023. Wallow in their misery with me, won’t you?

For a kid in the middle of a road trip to someplace amazing, what could be more depressing than your mom or dad threatening to turn the car around? Seriously, did anyone’s parents actually do this shit? No, the former Supergrass singer did not release a concept album about the horrors of screeching the brakes on a good time. What he did do, however, is release the most beautiful work of his long career.

Required listening: “Overnight Trains”, “Don’t Say It’s Over”, “Sonny The Strong”

It doesn’t get much more “sad bastard” than a collection of songs detailing the collapse of a romantic relationship. Buzzy, droning misery has never sounded so sugary sweet.

Required listening: “Move On”, “Nelson’s Camera”, “I Love You (But I Hate You)”

A complete review is found here. Enjoy.

Required listening: “The Ballad”, “The Narcissist”, “Russian Strings”

At this point, it’s fair to say that Blur is Damon Albarn’s side project. That’s no knock — folks move on, get inspired by different things, life happens. I learned a long time ago to expect nothing. Instead, appreciate an artist’s journey (wherever it may take them). Cracker Island is arguably my favorite Gorillaz record. Purists just guffawed at such a statement, but I fell in love with the thick layers of Hall & Oates’s blue-eyed soul slathered atop disco and hip-hop grooves.

Required listening: “The Tired Influencer”, Silent Running”, “Baby Queen”

“Another day, another credit card declined.” Ah, yes, financial ruin! How positively smile-inducing! That’s the first line from “Talkin’ On The Internet”, and truth be told, it’s one of the catchiest songs of the year. Seriously, I defy you to listen to it without shaking your ass around. There are a ton of bands around these days that force old fucks like me to ask the question, “Is it retro, or is it an album I missed when I was young,” but Spiritual Cramp borrows from all the right influences, blending ’60s garage rock with ’70s post-punk rock and ’80s synth rock to create a sound that is both timestamped and fresh.

Required listening: “Slick Rick”, “Talkin’ On The Internet”, “Better Off This Way”

Midwestern indie rock at its finest! The members of Ratboys have been churning and burning since 2010, releasing five full-length albums and three EPs, and while nothing I write here will catapult the band into superstardom, everything they’ve put out is worth a listen. If “The Window” doesn’t make you tear up, you don’t have a soul. The title track, a song written by singer Julia Steiner, is about her grandfather viewing his wife from behind the window of a nursing home, unable to hold her during the COVID-19 restrictions.

Required listening: “Morning Zoo”, “The Window”, “Black Earth, WI”

Another one of those “Is it retro, or is it an album I missed when I was young” bands, the Tubs would not have been at all out of place alongside R.E.M. in the early ’80s college radio indie-pop scene. Born from the ashes of art-noise band Joanna Gruesome, the Tubs’ Dead Meat is a jangly, guitar-driven pop record that sounds ripped directly from the mind of the mighty Bob Mould.

Required listening: “Dead Meat”, “Illusion pt. II”

That’s all for now, kids! Check back tomorrow for a gaggle of goodies from some old dogs still out there learning new tricks!